| 27.11.02 |
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all morning i have been distracted by this website (and perhaps the impending holiday). this guy is great! (thanks armeen for the referral)
anyone that can make an observation such as this has some genious flowing through him: Mattress marketing concentrates on how comfortable the beds are for sleep. Strange that cars, clothes, liquor, medicine, cosmetics and tiny, wireless video cameras are sold with sex, but mattresses are marketed with sleep.
i am making a vow (perhaps an early new years' resolution?) to be more fun! perhaps i should begin with pranks. this one is my favorite. washington needs to lighten up a little anyway. |
| posted by Paige @ 10:24 AM |
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| 26.11.02 |
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i have got to find some good, new xian music. found the benjamin gate tonight and they seem pretty cool. kind of a xian kelly osbourne thing going on, but i dig it so far. we shall see after i obtain some of their tunes.
can someone, anyone, please point me in the direction of good, xian music? |
| posted by Paige @ 7:44 PM |
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| 24.11.02 |
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it's been quite a few days since i blogged last. it has been one of those weeks that feels like an eternity. at the same time, i have looked back at where i was at this time last year, and it feels like only a few days have passed. ever have a week like that?
saw bond over the weekend, though. best bond flick i've seen in quite a while. i did take a hit for inviting christian friends to see it. i'll stand my ground to defend popular culture as God-inspired, but others don't view things quite like i do, or so i've learned. i will begin a quest for truth on said subject. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:30 PM |
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| 21.11.02 |
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| the car is gone now. i wonder what happened? |
| posted by Paige @ 8:50 AM |
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strange things are occurring all around washington today. i was on the metro this morning, minding my own business like everyone else on the morning commute. this man behind me starts rapping "girls, girls, girls" (which, of course, made me think of the motley crue song). but he continues to rap, like he's reciting a poem, about girls and being from washington (and something about owning it). i turn to look at this man, and i see he is a very large (occupying the full, 2-seat seat) man with a bandana around his forehead. he has graying, long, scraggly hair and beard and red-tinted glasses. he looked like he belonged at a dead show, though i don't think he'd be performing his girls, girls mantra. lucky for me, he started rapping on the way to my stop.
but it didn't end there. as i'm walking from the metro to my place of occupation (with au lait in hand), i see this black "security" car up parked on the side of connecticut ave. now, it's not uncommon to see cars randomly parked where they're not supposed to be, but this one was just over the curb. as i pass by it, i notice that it is up and over the curb, and i see the airbags deflated and the spiderwebbed windshield. like a good citizen, i look around to find the victims, thinking perhaps i could be of assistance somehow. but i find no one, and almost everyone around seems to walk on by. i walked inside my building to inform the security guard, who is apparently already aware of the situation. he tells me that it has been there since 10 pm LAST NIGHT! he said, "yeah, the cops came and put a ticket on the car, and the secret service stopped to look at it, but no tow truck has come". and the best part is that this is a SECURITY vehicle! oh, and the hazard lights are still on! apparently no one thinks this is odd.
robin's explanation? there was a full moon last night.
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| posted by Paige @ 5:48 AM |
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| 18.11.02 |
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as recommended by natty, here are my "100 things":
1. I have blonde hair and brown eyes, which I used to think was unique – until britney spears came along.
2. I place a high value on uniqueness.
3. when asked where I am ‘from’ I used to reply “pasadena, ca”, but have lately come to realize that the answer to that is “arlington, va”.
4. my religion is categorized as christianity.
5. God loves me.
6. I love God.
7. I want a husband and children one day.
8. I recently had someone ask me what my interests in life are, as opposed to asking me what I do for a living. I like that question, but still don’t know how to answer it.
9. I am scared by earthquakes, being upside down, et, golem, jabba the hutt and most muppets.
10. I feel in love for the first time in first grade with robbie.
11. I currently love someone, but don’t know if I am in love with him.
12. bananas have always made me gag and my mother always thought I was just being dramatic.
13. I have a dimple as a scar on my thigh from an inoculation when I was a baby.
14. I lost my last baby tooth when I was 14.
15. I once stole a hat from disneyland on a dare.
16. my greatest defeat was losing the varsity championship for our girls soccer team because the ball went between my legs. I played goalie.
17. my best friends in life are as follows: tracy, erin, cameo, courtney, natalie, and rachael.
18. I like many vegetables that people dislike: lima beans, spinach, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, etc.
19. I would rather be in hot weather than cold.
20. I have not passed classes in my schooling, but have never received an ‘f’.
21. I wrote a thesis in college.
22. I like bold colors – red, yellow and blue.
23. black is the most common color in my wardrobe, though I work to change that.
24. the greatest concert I have ever been to is john lee hooker at the catalyst in santa cruz, ca. twice.
25. my greatest music moment is ‘where the streets have no name’ at the u2 popmart tour in 1997.
26. I get frustrated with christianity.
27. I get disappointed with america.
28. I believe humanity is lost.
29. my favorite pet was taffy, a calico/tabby cat we got from the pound when I was about 10. she squeaked instead of meowing.
30. I lost taffy to coyotes the year my sister left for college.
31. I gave my sexuality to jason and my heart to brian.
32. I will give neither away again to another except my husband.
33. the most fun I have ever had was a trip to phoenix for my pastor’s wedding in 1994.
34. my wedding day will be march 3.
35. I like having fun and being with people.
36. my greatest achievement is making it this far in life – with a college degree and without being in jail, dead or pregnant.
37. the characteristic I respect most in my mother is her compassion.
38. the characteristic I respect most in my father is his passion for knowledge.
39. I respect these two characteristics most in myself.
40. my first car was a gray chevette, named earl, that I bought from a friend when I was in michigan for $300.
41. I love jazz and old black men.
42. when I am old there are only two things that I want to possess, wisdom and love.
43. I sucked my thumb until my mother bribed me to quit with a care bears house. I was 6.
44. the only bone I have broken is my arm at age 3.
45. the only surgery I have had is to remove my wisdom teeth at age 15.
46. I want braces.
47. when I was little I wanted a broken leg so I could use crutches. Last year when I hurt my knee I saw the folly of youth in wanting crutches.
48. I value social and mental accomplishments over physical accomplishments.
49. bono is the most interesting man I have never met.
50. lane is the most interesting man I have met.
51. love does not scare me.
52. the food I hate is eggplant.
53. I just learned that I snore, though I don’t think I usually do.
54. it really bothers me that I snore.
55. my happiest childhood memories are at casa grande, playing with courtney in the ‘s’ tree, swimming with my dad, dressing up.
56. I love movies, but can’t pick a favorite.
57. I strongly dislike politics.
58. my first date was with jonathan in second grade. We went to bullwinkles in anaheim.
59. this writing exercise is hard.
60. I am happiest when the sun is shining.
61. I really hated high school.
62. I really liked college.
63. when we were about 11, erin and I had a crush on this boy who would skate at the school by my house. We would stalk him, but never did talk to him. I wonder what the boy is doing now?
64. I want to have a big family.
65. I made a conscious decision at age 12 that I had outgrown playing with barbies and gave them all away. I missed them for about a year afterward.
66. I associate foothill with the most pain in my life.
67. I can still smell the kitchen there, colors by benneton which I wore to junior high dances, and brian.
68. I want to be a good cook.
69. when I am in a deep, completive mood, I smoke and drink black coffee.
70. I often wonder how my life would be different if little things were changed – like if I had finished my senior year, if I had a brother, majored in american history, or married at 22.
71. I would like to travel to africa, asia and south america.
72. I love sunsets.
73. I love the beach.
74. I love being in high places with a view.
75. I watch entirely too much baby story, wedding story and trading spaces.
76. I own a gym membership but go only about once a week.
77. I do not make wise financial decisions, but would like to.
78. I consider myself to have a fairly open mind, and value that.
79. I have tried to journal several times in my life, but have been unsuccessful until this year.
80. I prefer teenagers to young children.
81. I want my children to have three things: a loving relationship with God, happy childhood memories, parents that love each other and them.
82. I really have no preference about where I live, though most people think I do.
83. I believe the simpsons is the best modern art.
84. I usually don’t know what is best for me and I don’t pretend that I do.
85. mexican is my favorite style of food.
86. thai is my least favorite.
87. I f I could do any job right now, it would be writing articles about popular culture for christianity today.
88. I sing in the car. Loud.
89. I love road trips.
90. the biggest lie I’ve ever been told is that life as a christian is easy.
91. the greatest truth I’ve ever been told is that I am exactly as God wants me to be. Right here, right now.
92. I’ve been in 38 states.
93. I’ve lived in 5 states.
94. I’ve never been to hawaii.
95. I never date men longer than a few months (see #32).
96. I value my discretion.
97. I fall in love hard.
98. a few years ago I started the strange goal of donating blood in all 50 states.
99. I look for beauty in people and things that surround me.
100. today is my 25th birthday.
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| posted by Paige @ 2:19 PM |
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| 17.11.02 |
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| one hour into my 25th year finds me asleep on a boy's couch while watching ace ventura 2. i didn't even know i snored until tonight (sorry dan! will you still love me?)...i'd better get some sleep here in my own room, with a pillow to prop my head up. until then... |
| posted by Paige @ 10:50 PM |
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| 16.11.02 |
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| there is an element of want involved in allowing your heart to break. to some degree, we desire to feel the emotions of having our heart broken. there is romance in suffering for love. is it not better to feel emotion than no emotion at all? |
| posted by Paige @ 10:53 PM |
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i have cool friends. today i was kidnapped by my roommates for a day of surprises for my birthday.
i am attempting to blog, but keep getting interupted by witty. the rest are watching the sixth sense. they are very quiet right now. it must be a good part. i am looking for a new ringtone for my cell phone. i will blog more later.
ps. this is my first remote blog. lane's computer gets the honors. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:47 PM |
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| 14.11.02 |
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| i have hardly had any time to blog lately. |
| posted by Paige @ 12:12 PM |
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| 13.11.02 |
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i went to my first pro hockey game tonight. kristin and dan will be so proud to hear that! i witnessed 5 fights! god bless america! hockey, i discovered, is a lot like life. you spend most of your time just trying not to fall down, occassionally focusing your attention on one small object but usually just trying to keep up with it. you work with people sometimes, and you work against them other times. you take lots of shots at a very small, far off goal, and every now and then you score.
(that's so deep -- i should work for hallmark) |
| posted by Paige @ 7:42 PM |
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| it got better. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:28 AM |
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| 12.11.02 |
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today sucks. i've said that several times throughout the day today. so, let's try it again. today sucks.
one more time with feeling. today sucks. |
| posted by Paige @ 12:30 PM |
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| 10.11.02 |
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there is a warm wind from the south blowing through washington tonight. are they still santa anas if we aren't in california? i'd like to think they are just for me. a gift from God. though i don't know why.
this morning we had a guest speaker-pastor from sudan. he greeted us by stating how excited he was to be here, to get to see and meet the people who had been praying for his church. he was finally able to meet his brothers and sisters. he was there to speak about the persecuted church around the world and gave a very passionate description of the growing christian community even amidst persecution. i, however, found myself thinking of my afternoon, the man sitting in front of me and why he keeps turning around, and how i dislike the morning worship songs. i noticed the crowd hesitating to affirm his 'amen's and realized they were probably doing the same thing i was - thinking and caring about other things. then i began to get angry. this man traveled halfway accross the globe to meet us, encourage us and pray with us. and we have to stop and think before we clap and say 'hallelujah'? what is wrong with me? what is wrong with us? i was expecting to be moved and entertained (though i would not have admitted it). and we consider persecution to be a disagreement with a coworker over evolution v. creation? please! what is the consequence of our religious freedom? an apathic, bored, stagnant and spoiled spirit. and, yet, i don't know how to change. how do i change? how do we change? |
| posted by Paige @ 8:52 PM |
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| 8.11.02 |
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today the high is supposed to reach 65. yeah! it's been freakishly cold for the past several WEEKS! come on already, it's november, not january! autumn, not winter. so, i'm protesting. today i am wearing linen pants and NO COAT! i'm such a rebel!
but this weekend won't be the challenge - that will come next weekend. josh and jen are coordinating a camping trip to assateague island in maryland. i'm so excited! i've only been to the beach once this year. far too long! it should be a fun time.
then, i believe i will be spending thanksgiving in nyc with kristin and hopefully danica. we're going to do the whole bit, macy's parade, the museaums, walk through central park, etc. yeah! |
| posted by Paige @ 7:51 AM |
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| 6.11.02 |
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| man oh man...if i had known two years ago that i would be staying up all night to watch a political election....yes, i stayed up almost all night. but here's the ironic thing, i wasn't anxious about the shift of power in the senate, or homeland security or anything like that. i want to see my roommate retain her job. currently, she is in a car on her way from souix city to rapid city, from the capitol to her parents' house, praying and hopefully resting in peace. but nothing will be resolved soon. we knew it would be a close race, we just didn't know it would be this close. i guess there's still some truth in 'my vote counted'. will every election from now on be "historic"? |
| posted by Paige @ 11:41 AM |
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| 5.11.02 |
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interesting fact: toilet seat covers can also function as face blotters. (don't even bother asking me how this discovery came about - it's been a slow day).
soon i will follow this post up with a smart comment on our electoral system....i just need to make sense of the chaos in montgomery county, my blue, patriotic, arrogant sticker that proclaims "my vote counted", and the little curtains that only cover the top of your body. for the meantime, witty posted an interesting little diddy this morning. |
| posted by Paige @ 10:07 AM |
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| 3.11.02 |
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i want to drown out the noise of christianity. i want to experience the purity of God. i want to understand the context of these words, "But Lord, you remain the same forever! Your throne contines from generation to generation. Why do you continue to forget us? Why have you forsaken us for so long? Restore us, O Lord, and bring us back to you again! Give us back the joys we once had! Or have you utterly rejected us? Are you angry with us still?" (Lamentations 5v19-22)
what a mess we have made with your Holiness. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:09 PM |
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i just saw bowling for columbine. i agree with natty. it is so incredibly disturbing, but yet, you can't communicate your emotions.
i decided to go by myself because i knew anyone that i asked would laugh in my face that i would invite them to such a clearly liberal display. one of the most disturbing and lonely aspects of me viewing this movie was that i knew no one would understand. i feel so alone in my beliefs sometimes. i am christian, so that alienates me from my friends who don't believe in this religion. yet i have what my xian friends call liberal beliefs. to me they are what i understand to be God's beliefs....but apparently so are my xian friends.
let me back up. last night i was in a sappy, lonely mood so i decided to watch a sappy, lonely movie - the english patient. as we all know, the whole movie is based on sex and love....obviously not xian ideals. a friend came over, unannounced, and ended up watching the middle of the movie. having not seen it from the beginning, he found it "a waste of time" and proceeded to claim that the movie encouraged affairs. he questioned me as to how i could watch it, what was the value. i told him the value lies in the lessons, at it is clearly not a xian movie. i found value in discerning right and wrong from the movie. he told me my logic was whacked and left.
now, today, having already felt abandoned by my friends, i decided to see this movie by myself. i invited patrick, the one person i thought could handle the movie, but he was unavailable. i found it better to cry by myself anyway. the issues and images that mr. moore raised in this movie are astounding. yet, i am left asking myself, what is my response as a christian? shit, even if you don't feel me on that one, what is my response as an american citizen? my only criticism of the documentary is simply that he uses the same tactic that he is criticizing in his piece - fear - to drive the very point home. he is careful not to draw too many conclusions in the film so the viewer may draw his own conclusions, which i appreciate. however, the one point he raises is that we, americans, are driven by an unnecessary fear. this is manifested in guns, terror, violence, etc. ironically, and unfortunately, he seeks to stir up the same emotion in his audience to make his point. he creates in his audience, a chaotic fear of chaotic fear.
after grappling with these issues for 5 or so hours and one long conversation with poor lane who did not even know of the movie i had just seen, i am left to conclude that it is all irrelevant. this world, and all of the violence that is part of it, is still smaller than God, and defeated by God. i am commanded to love the people of this world, but i am not commanded to change it. yet, i realize that it is that definition of love that stirs controversy. i want to know God. i want to know his thoughts. i want to seek love and peace. i want a quiet soul, but feel that is not my destiny. i want to understand.
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| posted by Paige @ 5:28 PM |
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| 2.11.02 |
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| which is scarier - arguments or the ceasing of arguments? |
| posted by Paige @ 7:50 PM |
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i've had some pretty vivid dreams lately. the kind that make you wonder if they are prophetic. last night i dreamt that i attended natty's wedding to a cute artsy-writer guy. i mean, i nailed it on guessing her type of guy. he was great, though the first time i met him was at the wedding. it was a small wedding, very informal, but very meaningful. natalie handled it with perfect grace and it was a wonderful experience. we were in some kind of a large house but i don't remember the actual ceremony...just the preparations. then suddenly (don't you love how dreams tranform) we were outside. first we were on this block where i've been before, this branson-esque street with old vans and crap in people's yard. then we went golfing, kind of the bachelor/bachelorette party (the timeline in this dream was all wrong). then we were in the woods. we had to hike to get somewhere, though i don't remember where. then i woke up. it really was gibberish, but i do wonder if the fiance/husband thing is somehow prophetic. we shall see...keep me posted, natty.
then, the night before, i dreamt that i lived in an apartment building with a bunch of other young people. it was kind of like melrose place, or a college dorm, though it looked like all of these cheesy, overpriced arlington apartment buildings. i remember switching apartments, and i remember that someone didn't like me. perhaps those two facts were related. but any rate, i got shot. it wasn't physically painful, but the emotions are very vivid. obviously, i lived (is it possible to dream that you've died?). but more interestingly, i was rescued by lane (i'm sure he'd love to hear this...but he doesn't read this. ha-ha). i don't remember the details of it actually happening, but he was there with me during the recovery. i had others with me too, but lane was the only face i recognized. i spent the rest of my dream as an invalid, with lane by my side. uuummm...i attribute this dream to three things: the fact that i've spent a lot of time with the boy this week, the recent sniper attacks, and that he wore his superman garb that night for halloween. and that's all the analyzing i'm going to do about that, but it was really spooky to dream about being shot.
and now for the subtle transition - check out my newest link to the right.... |
| posted by Paige @ 10:55 AM |
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| 1.11.02 |
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| lately i feel like i'm the most irresponsible person in the world. i know that must not literally be true as i manage to keep a roof over my head and gas in my car (though i am running on fumes today). but why have i negelected such important things - like paying bills - and for what? somehow i don't think that the credit companies, banks and untilities will buy the excuse that i "forgot about it". is there something wrong with me? is irresponsibility a disease that i can seek treatment for? man, i hope this ends soon. |
| posted by Paige @ 6:22 AM |
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