god meets girl

17.11.04
to paige, age 14; from paige, age 27
in keeping with previous tradition of special birthday blogs, a note to myself in junior high.

to paige (1991):

happy birthday. 14 is going to be a big year for you. since i'm almost twice your age, i thought i'd give some ideas for then next decade or so.

-people are mean; they get more subtle in their delivery. but you'll get better at reading the subtlety.
-there are mistakes you will make this year, and they are serious, but they are valuable in their existence.
-forgive mom and dad. they're human and they love you.
-embrace music and don't let anyone take it away from you. it's your gift from dad.
-when you meet troy, run to him. when you meet brian, run.
-travel. travel around the world.
-high school is hard. but you'll get great friends out of it.
-go to chapel, even if you don't want to. 'cause if you don't, you never will.
-perfect your surfing and snowboarding while you can.
-don't buy the golf, no matter how much you love vw's.
-accomplishment is not really what people will often tell you it is.


and finally, life is so much bigger than you see it. live it with unencumbered faith!

happy birthday.

from paige (2004)
posted by Paige @ 6:33 PM   0 comments

9.11.04
i'm signing off for a while. i must figure life out. bye.
posted by Paige @ 6:33 AM   0 comments

5.11.04
anyone want to hire me?

we can now add "need to find a new job" to the list from yesterday. perhaps my move to ca will happen sooner than i expected....

either way, yesterday was still the day the Lord had made. i will continue to rejoice.
posted by Paige @ 6:05 AM   27 comments

4.11.04
another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
it's another yucky day in dc. i shouldn't be complaining because for the last week or more we've had la-like weather in november, but still. just take a read at list of gripes and i'm sure you'll agree...

1. two metro trains collided with eachother for no real reason. which wouldn't be a problem except that the red line is the only way to get from alexandria (home) to bethesda (work).

2. i drove, but was reminded that my car consumes (or excretes....i haven't quite figured that out yet) oil and coolant like nothing else.

3. it's raining angry rain. it turned from yesterday's sunshine to cloudy, foggy and rainy. the kind of rain the pierces straight through your skin to prick your bones with icy force.

4. since it is so nice and chilly i thought i'd wear my brand new winter suit. but as i was walking to the office a blue minivan drove at record speed by me only to break 10 feet later. it was the kind of wave of water dousing me that i used to think only happens in the movies.

5. i borrowed my sister's new shoes to match my new suit so at 10:15 am i now have 3 new blisters.

6. oh, and i'll be in committee meetings for the rest of the day.

there are many other cry-worthy items to my day (the election, dating, eating candy for breakfast, pending birthday, knee injury, poor grades in classes, arafat, genocide in sudan, to name a few...), but i will stop complaining now. i want to go home. find a good, soft pillow. wrap up in a big, down blanket and finish watching jules and jim from last night. but this is the day that the Lord has made and i will rejoice and be glad in it.*

and i am humbled that as i type this i am listening to the new caedmon's call album where danielle is singing "Jesus is all i need" as quoted to her by a woman in equador. a great and truly moving album.
posted by Paige @ 7:24 AM   0 comments

3.11.04
i'm stunned. what happened to the mobilization of our generation? aparently they wanted bush too. interesting. at least i didn't have p. diddy kill me. i still don't know what to think, but i'm fixed on this:

everything in the heavens and earth is yours, oh Lord, and this is your kingdom. we adore you as being in control of everything. riches and honor come from you alone and you are the ruler of all mankind. your hand controls power and might and it is at your discretion that men are made great and given strength.*
posted by Paige @ 12:49 PM   0 comments

2.11.04
in honor of the budding relationships that many of us are going through right now, i thought this article was appropriate. to love! and psychoses!
posted by Paige @ 10:47 AM   0 comments

1.11.04
thank you to lyd's friend, deo, for words so true they affect tears.
posted by Paige @ 12:30 PM   0 comments

i am consumed with unbelievable insecurity today and i just can't seem to shake it. this stems from something i did on saturday. or rather, what i should have done better, but didn't.

this is one thing i despise about myself. i love that i am driven by passion, but there are times that it cripples me. when i am doing it right i have an immense power over people. but there are times that i can see my loss of power, just beyond my grasp. like watching a movie of the events playing out before me. with dreamlike sensation i can watch what i did wrong and critique it. and that's where i am, replaying the scenario over and over while mentally hitting myself in the head saying, "you're so stupid". why didn't i just do that and do it well? why did i have to be lazy and selfish at that particular moment?

why can't i just get over it? and is it really all about my desire to control?
posted by Paige @ 10:48 AM   0 comments

last night i visited wal-mart for the first time in more than a year. i thought i'd share with you some highlights from my visit:
1. bras that were neither half priced nor just as sexy as bras from victoria's secret.
2. a purse in the shape of a corsetted woman's torso (and the accompanying ass bag).
3. a sweater with vomit on the sleeve.
and finally,
4. a fanny pack with a large tag boasting, "expands for a 60" waist!".
posted by Paige @ 6:09 AM   0 comments

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