| 31.10.02 |
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| at work i have been filling in for my two bosses who are both out on vacation (hence, my stressed blogs). one of the tasks i have now taken over is to field and respond to the general email requests from our website. it is absolutely fascinating the stuff that people send to generic email addresses. i get the typical solicitations for a better sexual life, weight loss and faster internet connections. but i also get quite a few passionate emails from people. while i realize that sam smith is not taking the time to compose every email specifically to me, there is quite a bit of time and effort placed in actually finding our info email address. what are these issues that people are so passionate about that they would spend their time trying to have every person read about them? it has intregued me, to some degree, to learn about the oppression of a people group, or the urgency to find alternative fuel sorces. but at the same time, i am turned off by it because it annoys me. i am a big fan of democracy, yet i find myself being not as much of a fan when i am faced with it. i have to laugh at these emails because my workplace has nothing to do with them. the only result that will come of sam sending an email is to have one person - me - change their opinion on a certain subject. i suppose he is selling me something, an idea, just as the sex life, weight loss people are. and in america, we sell the idea that one person really does influence the world. there are times i believe that whole-heartedly, and there are times i see it as a crock. today i don't know what to think - but i don't have to think about it. |
| posted by Paige @ 12:09 PM |
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| 30.10.02 |
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OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! this incessant drearyness must cease! i am filled with hate - and i hate that. i just want to be sucked out of life for a while. i can't deal. damn, i HATE rain, especially three long days of it. i've successfully screwed up project after project at work. i suck at relationships. i'm flat broke. come on - bring it on! i can take more. (said through tears and shaken fist)
i believe that this too shall pass. (said on knees) |
| posted by Paige @ 9:36 AM |
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| 29.10.02 |
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what a dull, dull day...still rainy (even though it was not forcasted). at least work is going better today, didn't screw up any projects today.
pondering the drag races tonight...it's that or carving pumpkins. |
| posted by Paige @ 11:25 AM |
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| 28.10.02 |
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| sigh....a dull day....rainy....cold....no action....must think of other things for now.... |
| posted by Paige @ 11:08 AM |
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| 26.10.02 |
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i had a lengthy day today...and it's just now ending. it was good, just busy. i feel like 7:30 yesterday morning was so long ago, and i suppose it was. today is lane's birthday. we spent most of it at church, assisting with this seminar they were having. lane was teaching, i was preparing food. how traditionally christian-gendered are we? but during the breaks we shot some hoops and discussed (what else) our non-existant relationships. funny, but the same conversation came up about a half hour ago with dan - where does a person spend their time. i posed this thought of mine (see previous blog) to lane. his answer is not strong in my memory, so maybe he didn't get around to answering it. dan, too, did not track with me on the busy-ness issue. i shall have to pursue.
elsewhere in life we went and had guinness and sang irish drinking songs for the very non-irish lane. i did witness him dance at the waterfront with a flapper (an older woman dressed for halloween as a flapper, though lane insists she is a genuine antique). there was something sexy about watching him dance, holding this sequined woman he doesn't know, while wearing cowboy boots. it's been a long time since i've been held for a dance. well, the night concluded with going with dan to carrie and trina's party. it was a very creative party - a white t-shirt party. everyone was signing the t-shirts and some had obscene pictures, of course. but it was very fun, everyone was enjoying themselves. i do believe it is time to call it a night. i shall enjoy the extra hour. |
| posted by Paige @ 11:09 PM |
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| 25.10.02 |
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| lane lists as a requirement for a potential relationship how a man or woman is spending their time. is it spent in service to others, or serving themself. while i agree with the principle of his qualifications, i have seen it get perverted. is it possible that we fill our time up with other things (including service to others) such that we are almost unavailable to others? i suppose this goes beyond even dating. do we fill our time with busy-ness so we can avoid the potential pain that relationships bring? and is that possible pain more motivating that possible happiness? i know for myself, i view relationships in a very pessimistic light, so i do realize that is my bias. but, why is it not the freedom and joys of God that motivate me? the reality is more convincing than the potential. |
| posted by Paige @ 4:09 PM |
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| you know i have lived in washington too long when i am searching despirately for the breaking news on the death of a senator. i do not say that to diminish the senator's life, and certainly the environmental community will be upset, but life does go on. the switching of control of the senate is ultimately not very critical. this too shall pass. |
| posted by Paige @ 1:13 PM |
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| 24.10.02 |
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today's forecast:
6 am - 50 deg.
12 pm - 50 deg.
6pm - 50 deg.
i hope this is not a prediction of my day. tuesday was so fun (he thought so too!), that the rest pale in comparison. but alas, there is data to be entered, and such is my task today. at least i've got norah jones to help me through this dismal day. |
| posted by Paige @ 9:21 AM |
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| 23.10.02 |
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hehehe....it's still fun. aaahh.
i'm pondering vegas for my birthday...something wild and fun. plus, hopefully, i can reunite with old friends. hmm...we shall see. my only constraint - money. isn't it always though? |
| posted by Paige @ 9:48 AM |
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| 22.10.02 |
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| still bliss. i came to dc to build my relationship with my sister. perhaps that wasn't the reason i'm here. i still don't know why i'm here, but i have met the most amazing people. i have been inspired by the passions instilled in them. i have been encouraged through conversations. i have been loved. i am loved. why do i feel the desire to run away from it? i do not deserve it. |
| posted by Paige @ 8:50 PM |
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| bliss! i would love to have days like this all the time! there was almost no one in the office today, which usually means i get a lot done. i guess i did get a fair amount done, but it alluded me. am i allowed to be in love? well, i suppose being 'in love' is a leap. but i did have fun. i had a walking date around dc today. we walked through the old buildings of hu law school, through the neighborhoods of million dollar homes and row houses. we discussed most of the usuals - family, rearing, schools, etc. i know i've said this before, but perhaps the number one personality trait that i'm attracted to is passion. and to make it even better - his passion is for God. unbelievable. but i won't count this chicken just yet. my heart belongs to another. |
| posted by Paige @ 3:09 PM |
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| distractions, distractions, distractions. today is a wonderful day! it is beautiful outside - perfect temperature. (sigh) |
| posted by Paige @ 12:32 PM |
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| 19.10.02 |
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| i've been wallowing in my self pity lately, though i'm alluded as to why. perhaps too much introspection without the drive to change. yeah, whatever, i know what it is. me and God are on limited terms these days. but i do so want to change that. it is these times that i rely on the miniscule grain of faith i perceive in myself. proof that it is God working in me, and not myself. i am very glad that He is bigger than myself. |
| posted by Paige @ 9:46 AM |
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| 16.10.02 |
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| if ever i need you, it's now. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:07 PM |
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| i seriously lack motivation to do anything. there is something wrong with me. |
| posted by Paige @ 6:28 PM |
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| 15.10.02 |
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1.6m to home depot - the latest sniper shooting.
i don't really know what to say. i'm not scared, though i did think twice as i got gas this evening - i chose a gas station that wasn't close to a wooded area. i'm sure i've been in closer proximity to a shooting. i mean, i was raised in l.a. rodney king lived but blocks away from me.
last night at 10:20 or so we were all seated on my bed watching the little tv as 'news was unfolding'. again i realized that aside from september 11, i don't think most of my friends have delt with this kind of stuff. have i really delt with this stuff, or i'm i kidding myself? i do feel a certain nostalgia. there is something exciting about the whole ordeal. when you think about the odds of you being the actual victim, they're slim. you have a better chance of winning the lottery. so why is everyone talking about it? i hear my roommates in the other room right now exchanging theories. it reminds me of a good old fashioned high speed pursuit. |
| posted by Paige @ 6:04 PM |
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| 13.10.02 |
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tonight i had my lofty view of amelie shattered, compliments of dan. 'so basically she tried men but didn't like it. got interested in this guy who works at a porn shop and their whole relationship is based on mystery. well, the mystery is over now that they get to know each other.' thanks, dan. may i remind you that he worked at a theme park too.
i'm too tired to disagree, i suppose. |
| posted by Paige @ 10:50 PM |
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| 11.10.02 |
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dig this:
"Love is the life of our heart. According to it, we desire, rejoice, hope and despair, fear, take heart, hate, avoid things, feel sad, grow angry and exult." -Francis De Sales
and God is love.
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| posted by Paige @ 10:41 AM |
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| 10.10.02 |
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excuse my absence....i've been on my death bed.
my sister says i'm dramatic. ok, so maybe i am....but being sick this week really did suck. do you have any idea how much work i've already missed, and now i have to miss more? i do confess that i knew this was coming. for the last two weeks i have been around more sick people than healthy people. anne, patrick, danica, lane, shall i go on? silly people for breathing on me! but i feigned it off for two weeks, and now is the best time to be sick, i guess. it is almost as if my body knew the right timing to make me rest. but at least i got to catch up on trading spaces and a baby story (i know, i'm pathetic....but i am a girl).
ok, but i feel the need to be sentimental for a minute. i played volleyball tonight for the first time in a very long time. i feel like an entirely different person. my memories of volleyball are sarah tobin, my injured knee and rob. i feel so far away from then, like that was years ago. my friendships have changed a lot since then, i've loved and lost. my job has changed dramatically, from tortured subservience to responsibility bliss. even the weather has changed from cold, to unbearably hot, back to cool again. how have i changed since then? God is incredible!
as if i'm not introspective enough tonight....i just got an im from one of the girls from my home church. i was on junior high staff when she was in the group. wow. i guess i don't feel so far away from volleyball anymore. |
| posted by Paige @ 7:03 PM |
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| 7.10.02 |
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this is what i want to do next, frontier house. i'm hooked!
i ended up watching this last night because after the fall retreat, there was no church service. ironically, the topic of the weekend was moral discernement...especially in terms of entertainment. so, when i plopped myself down after a busy weekend to envelop myself in mindless entertainment, i ended up watching public television. i'm not sure if that is progress or not... |
| posted by Paige @ 10:36 AM |
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| the retreat has come and gone. i believe successfully. now, what was it i was doing before all that? ah, yes....my paid job. |
| posted by Paige @ 8:46 AM |
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| 4.10.02 |
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i've noticed that there is a lot in common between drug dealers and mary kay salespersons (and, yes, i'm assuming most of them are women, however, i consider myself to be liberated from gender prejudice).
1. they both drive big, fancy cars.
2. they both supply to people willing and eager to fork over lots of money to improve their lives.
3. both enjoy gaudy accessories....sometimes the same style is even shared by both.
4. for both groups, there is a chain of command, a hierarchy that individuals strive to climb.
5. both receive financial reward for increased sales.
the only difference i've found? one group runs from the law while the other is married to it. |
| posted by Paige @ 5:59 AM |
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| 3.10.02 |
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it has happened. i have completely lost touch with california life. aparently the angels are in the playoffs. what? how? when? i am filled with such confusion. and they actually beat the yankees? huh? um, i'm speechless.
as said frequently on the today show - on a much lighter note. i have found the solution to all of my problems - have others pay for my debt. please refocus your attention to the bottom right of my blog, in my wish list, "my very own". this is too much for my pop culture mind to comprehend. i am still amazed. |
| posted by Paige @ 10:19 AM |
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| 2.10.02 |
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yeah, so why is it that when you aren't looking for someone, they suddenly appear? well, actually, i haven't been looking anyway. maybe it's the whole male competition thing....since i had had my attention occupied and now it is available again, i am therefore open for bids. huh. but i guess i do like the attention. i will not fall in love, but i think i may enjoy this relationship.
i can't stop thinking about armeen's description of elliott. when i do fall in love, it will look something like that. |
| posted by Paige @ 11:29 AM |
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| 1.10.02 |
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| working with people is hard. where were you all 2 months ago when i invited your input? and now, three days before we leave, you have changes? forget that. is this how ministry is to be? what is your will in this, Father? you've succeeded in gaining my attention. |
| posted by Paige @ 6:49 PM |
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| ...he called. |
| posted by Paige @ 11:06 AM |
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the gods are against me today. i forgot important paperwork at home. also forgot my metro card, borrowed one from liz, but was detained in the metro system until i could scrounge up a quarter. left phone number of date tonight at home. we'll see if he calls to arrange details. if not, i will have a nice date with myself. left important fall retreat disk at home, which is fine with me as it has occupied far too much time in my life lately anyway. looking at to do list today and am reassured that there are not enough hours in the day. so i decided to spend my precious 15 minutes getting a nice breakfast and blogging. ain't life grand? it is a fabulous day out today though. it's the little things.
oh, and happy october! |
| posted by Paige @ 7:16 AM |
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