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| gain |
oh fur cryin' out loud! i hate to seem insenstive, but THANK YOU, LORD! i can't believe the craziness that has insued from this case.
for me to live is Christ, to die is gain.
and what pr genius allowed jesse jackson to champion this cause? because his morals are to be admired... |
| posted by Paige @ 7:43 AM |
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| 29.3.05 |
| decisions? |
i am horrible at making decisions. i am especially poor at it when there are many options in front of me. or maybe that's what makes me poor at making decisions...because i tend to see so many options. today is no exception to my lack of decisive skills.
i have a list of things i want for my new apartment:
-affordable (though i'm willing to spend quite a bit)
-living with fun, creative people (preferably in the biz)
-my own place (preferably with a separate bedroom)
-accessible to coffee shops and parks to run
-dog friendly
-accessible to fuller and my current job (wherever that ends up...)
-a neighborhood with character and beauty
i found a place that had almost all of this yesterday, but i turned it down. it would most likely have been too hard on my budget...
today i saw a place with two very fun girls that would provide me with lowered rent a very short commute (for now). and, one of the girls works on 24 and both girls were right on with The Vision. i can hardly believe it. but, i have to live in the valley and i really feel like that is just not right place for me...
i also inquired as to subletting an apartment from a very cool musician who is heading to the east to record her album. this would afford me almost all of my qualifications...
so, do i hold off for The Perfect Place which meets all of these criterion, or pick the best/most as possible? do i struggle to make decisions because i just want it all? |
| posted by Paige @ 10:26 PM |
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| nattykat, just call me missus wilkes! |
| posted by Paige @ 11:35 AM |
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| 28.3.05 |
| forward |
do you ever get so caught up in the middle of something that you can't see the original vision? that's how i feel right now. i know there's a vision - move back to la, go to seminary, pursue vision for ministry, work on relationship with parents, establish a life to embrace other passions, etc. - but it is very difficult to see that vision right now. i confess that this is harder that i anticipated.
this weekend helped to provide some perspective. i was able to have some much needed socializing and even got to apartment-sit, which was a reality-check that my living situation is indeed not permanent (thank the Lord Almighty!). i love my parents...but...it's too much. i went on a wonderful date (thank the Lord Almighty for his creation of men - especially this one!), who gave me just what i needed - sunshine, sand in my toes, and excellent company. i got even more great company doing one of my favorite things - drinking wine and watching a great movie. i even got the affection of a dog, which sustains me until i get my own.
i am restored and again optimistic. i continue to search for the permanent - shelter and environment, love and mental stimulation. but since the permanent is built upon the foundation of moments like these, i shall continue to move steadfastly through them, not losing sight of the vision which has been given to me. i am excited to live this life through what really matters, instead of what doesn't (see post below), as i feel like i've done for too long now. we spend time on those things which are important to us, right? so, i'm ready to demonstrate with my life that which is important. kind of makes me wonder what i thought integrity was before today....but maybe i didn't have any. |
| posted by Paige @ 9:17 AM |
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| 27.3.05 |
| resurrection day |
today is easter, the day when little children get dressed up and go to church. the day when big children get to drink again or pick up their vice, whatever that might be. i've been praying for my friends who have gone through lent and i cannot wait to hear what god revealed to them.
as most of you know, this year i did not give up anything for lent. as people would ask me about what i was sacrificing, they joked that i was giving up lent for lent. and now that i'm here in a new city, i think maybe they were right. i mean, why do we only give something up for 40 days? if it's truly something that takes us away from knowing God, then why don't we give it up permanently? easier said than done, i know, but i think that tomorrow will start lent for me.
what to give up? that's easy. it's what always nags me. it's what other see so easily and what i struggle even to type here. my vice is external, it is my self-serving desire for food. it is manifest in my struggle with weight, as many people can understand, but at the core it is indulgence.
the balance? a necessity, especially being in la. my struggle is not with looks, for that would only be feed the same self-serving desire. but it is difficult to focus on the core instead focusing on the byproduct.
i do have to smile at what wonderful friends i have. i was recounting to natalie how i feel like i've gained weight since being in paris, numerous dinner parties and my inability to find a good time to run. she told me she has this plan to not gain any weight [neither she nor i have gained any weight since college, nor is she fat to begin with!] but to stay the same. this way, when everyone else has gained weight over time, she'll actually be the thin one! i love her perspective. |
| posted by Paige @ 8:11 PM |
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| 25.3.05 |
| the streets that only turn to boulevards |
it's a big time in your life, k. love, marriage and revolution. this must be the time of your life. congrats.
i listened to wish you were here 8 times in a row today and thought of you. i can't wait to see you and your wife when you return to the states. |
| posted by Paige @ 4:34 PM |
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| 23.3.05 |
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| aww, and i got another welcome gift from the gods yesterday. gee, thanks. earthquakes are my favorite! |
| posted by Paige @ 8:17 AM |
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| 20.3.05 |
| reunion |
last night i went to warehouse because i wanted to see jamie and i missed church in the morning. it was very strange, like the maranatha class of 1996 high school reunion. ok, so i graduated in 1995, and there were folks from 94-97...but still. in addition to jamie, i saw paul, jeremy, karen and others. of course ian and julia were there too.
during the service i had a couple of thoughts. the first was that it feels as though you can go into almost any sunday night, 'young adults' service in a church across the country and get almost the same feel. there is your basic rock-guitar strumming band with equal numbers of male and female singers, typically with their eyes shut and sometimes their arms raised. they sing any variety of songs from david crowder, traditional hymns (with modernized music), and matt redmond. there is a young looking guy in a casual collared shirt - sometimes holding a bible - but typically giving some variation of a stand-up act and a sermon. there are advertisements for SHAPE and ALPHA and probably for small groups which meet during the week. in the case of last night, these advertisements came in the form of a very long "prayer" - that God would 'bless' each of these events. i'm not sure that in a prayer God requires the dates, times and points of contact for each of these events, but He got 'em from this woman. and of course at the end is the usual mingle and meet. and sadly, if i hadn't known the people i mentioned above, i don't think anyone would have said hi to me.
along those lines, it felt so similar last night that i kept forgetting i was on the other coast. i kept looking back and expecting liz and anne to come in, or patrick and kurt, or anyone. a few times i even thought 'why isn't this person here'...but then i'd remember. and then when i would remember, i would then be on the lookout for lydia or john or pat. i exist in this surreal environment right now. outside of 2005 and everything i knew of arlington and pasadena.
but that will change. i will meet new people soon and begin a new life in los angeles. until then, i enjoy catching up with those friends that i love - including more visitors from the east coast. i get to see eric tomorrow. |
| posted by Paige @ 9:15 PM |
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| 17.3.05 |
| bliss |
| many of you, specifically anne and lane, will be pleased to know that i work within a few blocks of the newlyweds. remember the episode when jessica gets lasix and they eat the red robin restaurant with those stupid glasses on? yup, around the corner. i'll keep you posted on any run-ins that i may encounter. |
| posted by Paige @ 2:46 PM |
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| 15.3.05 |
| was nwa right? |
i forgot what jerks the police are around here. the other day i was simply making a left turn past a policeman in his car when he gave me the hairy eyeball. i did absolutely nothing wrong…except maybe he was questioning my virginia plates. but still. and i’m a white woman! i can’t even imagine what it must feel like to be profiled.
i was not pulled over one time in dc (or md or va, for that matter) for my four + years i lived there. and, i’m embarrassed to say, i am not usually one to follow speed limits. not that i drive fast, just, how shall i put it, efficiently. but i think it is interesting that in dc there was not the same attitude as there is here. sure, there was a cop or two having a bad day...but i see nothing but aggressive cops around here.
it does make me wonder, though. is the health of a city directly related to the attitude of their police force? the la times had a very interesting op-ed section this weekend devoted to the subject of race in la. recently there was an unarmed 13 year old who was killed by a police officer. some opinions expressed that the temperature is right for another riot as tension is as it was prior to the watts riots and la riots of 92. of course, some people also stated that things were just fine and even greatly improved over the last decade.
i personally think that there is still a lot of tension, not racial at its core, but socio-economic. we often have no other means of expression the frustration and too easily choose race. |
| posted by Paige @ 4:22 PM |
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| life as a bi-valley girl (that's sf and sg valleys) |
i have not had even a moment to breathe, let alone reply to emails. but it is sure great to hear from you!
so far when i'm not working, i'm commuting, i'm fending off sad puppy-dog looks from my parents, i'm doing laundry, i'm shopping, i'm buying concert tickets, or i'm going on bad dates. blah! i spent all of saturday driving almost every corner of la, searching for apartments. and it's funny because all it did was serve to confirm that i want to live where i always wanted to live - los feliz. so, thus begins my quest for The Perfect Apartment in los feliz. that of course accepts dogs.
and yes, i was successful in securing 2nd leg u2 tickets. yay! and yes, i did go on a pretty nasty date. boo! i'm beginning to think that my theory of No Compatible Guys in DC may have skewed my perspective quite a bit. dare i say, i’m too negative? so i ask, where do the men live who are compatible with me? in the meantime, thx to david for humoring me with good company, my favorite coffee house, diddy reese, arrested development, and all around restoring my faith in Good Men.
oh, and i also got a cd player for my car, a necessity for my commute, so that's nice. yeah, like you all care about any of this...sorry...more soon, and better posts too, i promise. |
| posted by Paige @ 11:26 AM |
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| 7.3.05 |
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made it here. surprisingly, considering i used every inch of my alloted baggage.
but it's beautiful - hazy and 70. i'll be donning the thongs just as soon as i drag them out.
happy birthday, annie! |
| posted by Paige @ 11:57 AM |
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| 3.3.05 |
| bye, for now |
well, today is my last day at work and monday will be my last morning in dc. i realize the for some of you this is great because that means we'll be seeing more of each other. for others, it is sad because it means we will not be seeing each other as often any more (though remember, i'll be out here a lot!). for me right now it is a little of both.
and of course there are others to which this news means nothing because right now we are restricted to e-friendship (can i coin that term?). and for the new readers to my site, welcome. there are now a host of new god meets girl readers now that i am free to disclose this site.
i'll sign off for at least a week until i get settle at the 'rents house (yikes!). |
| posted by Paige @ 11:36 AM |
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| 2.3.05 |
| highlights from paris |
i have to say that i'm not one to take pictures of the typical items when i travel. for example, you won't see a picture of the louvre or arch de triumph. instead, i like the random signs or the humorous oddities of being in a foreign place. things like indiana tex-mex, which is hilarious because indiana is about the farthest you get from good tex-mex and in paris, nonetheless. or the flora danica which i find great because of its wonderful name. and, of course, the most famous of odd names - les deux magots, which sounds horrible when translated to english - the two maggots. not a place i would want to eat, but apparently hemingway did.
of course, i'm also geeky because i love to see the places in pop culture, like where audrey and cary tromped in charade, or where the albino killed the nun in the da vinci code. man, i am so nerdy... |
| posted by Paige @ 9:06 AM |
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| 1.3.05 |
| movies about la |
favorite movies about l.a.:
1. Magnolia
2. Playing By Heart
3. L.A. Story (of course!)
4. A Rebel Without a Cause
5. Pulp Fiction (bonus points for the cross-pollenation of travolta's ucsc garb)
6. Better Off Dead
i'm debating adding l.a. confidential, the aviator and boyz in da hood.... |
| posted by Paige @ 12:55 PM |
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